Progress Over Outcomes
There are a lot of stats floating around this time of year that highlight how unlikely we are to actually achieve our goals. Nothing says “Happy New Year!” like a reminder of our impending failure, right? One recent study even found that a mere 8% of people meet their New Year’s resolutions. Yikes. For some, that evokes a sense of hopelessness. Why bother, if we’re doomed to fail? For others, it ignites a drive to beat the odds. As if being in that 8% offers some kind of validation apart from just reaching the goal. And many others just ignore resolutions and goals altogether, resolute on living their lives with intention and thoughtfulness throughout the year, regardless of a new year. I’ve certainly found myself in each of those camps during different seasons of my life. And yet, the draw of a fresh start always feels like a welcome invitation to me. But an invitation to what?
Over the past couple of years, largely with the help of an intensive leadership coaching cohort, I’ve been challenged to shift my approach to goals entirely. And this shift, which continues to challenge the framework that’s been so ingrained in me (and I’d argue, our culture at large), has freed me to see real change in my life. Change unlike anything I’ve experienced in all my years of setting goals, making resolutions, and choosing a “word for the year.” Change like differentiating myself from others (even my spouse!) in a way that allows me to let other people have their own experiences and feelings without feeling tangled up in them myself. Change like learning to feel my feelings, rather than just name and intellectualize them. Change like acknowledging discomfort and learning to move through it in order to hold onto my boundaries, rather than appeasing others for the sake of avoiding discomfort and conflict. This shift in how I approach goals (i.e. change) has taken the pressure off of achievement and opened space for parts of myself to show up that had been quieted in the name of checking a box. The invitation is simple: shifting focus from outcome-based goals to progress in an area that would have a meaningful impact.
It’s no surprise that this new framework for approaching change was purported by a couple of Harvard researchers. It all started with a study that found that only 1 in 7 heart patients will make meaningful health changes when told by their doctor that they will die if they don’t change their habits. Based on this study, Robert Kegand and Lisa Lahey concluded that if change is elusive for people even when faced with life-and-death-matters, then desire and motivation alone can’t be enough to change the status quo. Rather, they believe that each of us subconsciously holds strong beliefs that keep us going down the path of least resistance, tethering us to our habits while fighting any change that threatens the status quo. This resistance to change is so strong, so adaptive, and so systemic that Kegan and Lahey liken it to a finely tuned immune system. Thus, they created a framework which they call Immunity to Change. In order to change, we have to peel back the layers of immunity to reveal the subconscious, but deeply held, beliefs that we’re tied to. From there, the cognitive dissonance that happens when faced with seeing what you want compared to the belief that’s contradicting it opens a channel for you to change – progressively.
We’ve all had the experience of wanting to achieve or change something, but being unable to attain it. Sometimes, we are aware that we seem to be working against ourselves. But that awareness is just the beginning. The Immunity to Change framework invites you to:
Commit to a change goal.
Describe the behavior you need to change.
Uncover your hidden competing commitments.
Tease out your big assumptions.
Test your assumptions.
This approach to change is less about checking a box correlated with a bucket-list type of goal, and more about making progress on the changes that would meaningfully impact your life. There’s absolutely a place for reaching measurable goals like running a marathon, advancing at work, or saving a certain amount of money. But even those goals can be stalled by our immunity to change. And when it comes to the things that impact your overall well being, like managing your time, reducing stress, and making healthier choices, there are often subconscious beliefs at play that are holding you back from making progress. And as the stats display, setting a SMART goal typically ends in a stall at best and failure at worst – reinforcing the belief that you’ll never make progress. But friends, there is good news! For anyone who’s ever felt like they don’t have what it takes or they must not be trying hard enough to reach their goal, be encouraged that will power and motivation aren’t enough – for anyone. At least, not when it comes to true transformation. And isn’t that true in our faith too? We aren’t given a finish line. Rather, we’re invited to a journey of sanctification – of refining, uncovering, and continuing on. I’ve got my own bucket-list of things I want to experience in life. But when it comes to growth and transformation, I’m becoming more and more convinced that there are no checklists, arrival points, or “outcomes.” And that focusing on progress – bit by bit – is how growth really happens.
Lindsey Wright is a freelance writer specializing in websites and email marketing for mental health professionals and coaches. Having spent the first 10 years of her career as a professional counselor and then spiritual director, she found her way to writing in all the upheaval of 2020.
A perpetual coffee sipper, when she’s not writing she’s likely reading, walking her dogs, or cooking up a comforting pasta dish. She and her husband of 11 years, Travis, live in Chattanooga, TN with their three kids — Sawyer (9), Jude (7), and Ruthie (4).