A Single Girl’s Guide to Valentine’s Day
As a single woman, it can feel like the annual appearance of February 14th just isn’t for you. Sure, you know that Valentine’s Day is basically just a commercialized holiday marketed by Hallmark to increase their revenue. (And you’re a smart, ambitious woman, so you get it.) But even with that knowledge, it can still stir up all kinds of feelings for those of us who don’t have a singular “Valentine” to claim.
And let’s be honest, even for those who do have a “Valentine,” the day just rarely lives up to the hype.
So this year, I’d like to widen the aperture a bit. Let’s consider how February 14th can be a celebration of true love in all its forms. I’m sharing 5 simple ideas to embrace love inwardly, outwardly, and upwardly in celebration of Valentine’s Day this month.
#1 Hugs from the Kingdom
“Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” Luke 12:7 (ESV)
“The LORD your God wins victory after victory and is always with you. He celebrates and sings because of you, and he will refresh your life with his love.” Zephaniah 3:17 (CEV)
Sometimes the things we know to be true (i.e. God’s Word) don’t always feel true. We know that God loves us, but sometimes we don’t feel comforted by that knowledge. And yet, Scripture tells us that meditating on truth does allow it to infiltrate our minds, and permeate our hearts. The truth is, we have a Heavenly Father, a Friend, and a Comforter who sees us, cares for us, and nurtures us. He loves us. Spend some time today meditating on this truth and reflecting on how you’ve seen His love for you show up in your life. Let it sink in, rooting deep into your being. Only when we embrace how beloved we are can we live out of that belovedness, knowing our own value and loving others well.
#2 Pen to Paper
I once heard a story (intended for married couples) where each person was encouraged to write a love letter to the other detailing all of the reasons you fell in love with them. They were each instructed to recall every amazing quality that drew you to them, list out what you appreciate about them, and describe how special they are to you. The purpose of the letter was not actually to give it to the one they loved, (sorry, Hallmark!), but rather to keep it in a safe place where it could be read anytime they might lose sight of their love for their spouse.
As a single woman, I began to wonder how this practice could apply to me even when I don’t have a particular person to whom I’ve committed my life. Then it dawned on me — without a partner to remind me, I often lose sight of my own belovedness. So I decided to write a love letter to myself.
This might sound a little cheesy or cliché, but I think the value outweighs the weirdness. And besides, the letter is just for you! No one else has to see it. Negative self-talk, imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and self-sabotage often stem from insecurity and a lack of knowing our own value. Write yourself a letter — whether long or short — that will convey to yourself just how amazing you are. List out all your admirable qualities, the things that make you special, and all the things you are proud of. Be honest with yourself — imagining that you are looking at yourself from the outside and seeing yourself with eyes of adoration (as we know our Father does). Keep the letter in a safe, accessible place. Then, whenever those negative thoughts creep in, go grab your letter and reread it to yourself. Trust the words and let them wash over you, reminding you how beloved you truly are.
And with that thought, I believe this can also be applied to the lovely women, sisters, co-workers, mothers, daughters, and friends in our lives. Consider someone you love and write her a letter just like this. Sometimes, the words of those dear to us can validate the things we know to be true deep down. You can offer that to a woman in your life. And that is a beautiful gift of love.
#3 Lavish
Ok, this one is just for fun!
Check out this simple homemade body scrub that will leave your skin feeling soft and looking glowing!
Ingredients:
72 TBSP of ground espresso
4 TBSP of jojoba oil
(Add a pinch of ground cinnamon or a few drops of any essential oil of your choosing for an added aromatic experience!)
Mix these well and apply in circular motions on freshly washed, still wet skin while in the shower. Once this scrub is rinsed off, you will have skin that feels both luscious and exfoliated. Enjoy the brightness of refreshed, rejuvenated skin and smell the alluring aroma of a freshly brewed cup of coffee!
#4 Treat Yourself
This one is simple, and I hope you do it far more than just once a year! Basically, the point is to treat yourself. If you love fresh flowers in your home, have some delivered! If the idea of a massage fills your tank, then schedule one! If treating yourself to your favorite chocolate makes you smile, then stock up! Whatever it is, let the knowledge of your belovedness spur you to treat yourself to something special!
#5 Simple Strawberry and Lemon Mocktail
Enjoy your favorite movie, binge watch that new interesting show, or read the rest of that riveting new book with this delightful mocktail!
It is super simple and sure to bring an extra pop of color and joy to whatever February 14th looks like for you this year.
Ingredients
1 cup fresh strawberries
2 tsp fresh lemon zest
1 tbsp fresh lemon juice, divided
2 tsp granulated sugar
16 oz club soda
3–4 cups of ice
Instructions
Wash the strawberries. Trim off the stems and cut them in half, or in quarters if using very large berries.
Put the strawberries in a small bowl along with the lemon zest and sugar.
Muddle the ingredients together by pressing firmly down with a muddler and twisting it. Keep going until the berries are mashed well, and it resembles a thick syrup.
Spoon an equal amount of the mixture into two 12 ounce glasses.
Add 1/2 tbsp lemon juice to each glass.
Fill each glass with ice, then pour in the club soda to the top.
Use a spoon to gently mix everything together in the glasses.
Garnish with lemon slices and enjoy!
*Recipe created by Alex Aldeborgh, MS, RD at Daisybeet
No matter how you celebrate or acknowledge Valentine’s Day this year, make sure to take the opportunity to remind yourself of the deep love that is yours for the taking by those around you and from your Heavenly Father who sings love songs over you (Zeph 3:17). And don’t forget to give yourself permission to shower yourself with some love as well!
Ivana Sanders is an editor of anthology who works as a freelancer in publishing. She’s an author, interview series host, and graduate student studying Media and Arts at Dallas Theological Seminary. She is dedicated to working in the media industry while supporting diversity and inclusion to open doors for others.