5 Soul-Deep Lies Working Women Believe (and the God honest truth that’ll set you free)
We are masters of the blame game, condemners of the worst kind, us women. We keep boxing gloves on the ready, not for exercise, but to beat on ourselves!
And it’s not just you. Research shows women naturally blame themselves, going inward, while men blame their outward circumstances or “bad luck.”
This internal mixtape whirring in our heads feeds us lies. And we’re buying it, singing the lyrics back to ourselves and moving to its beat. It’s time to disrupt these soul-deep inner thought loops that easily entangle us and lean into the truth of who we are.
LIE: I am what I do.
How would you introduce yourself if you can’t talk about what you do? If mum’s the word about what’s on your plate what would you say? Identity gets tangled up in what we do that when/if it gets pulled out from under us, we don't know who we are.
TRUTH: Work is worship.
Work can’t bear the identity weight. It’s not a personal identifier (or definition) but a good design from God. Work is worship. Use your unique talents and abilities to magnify Him for His glory, not yours.
LIE: It’s all up to me.
You’ve heard it: "No one is coming to save you." Spoiler alert: Someone already has. And it isn't you.
This quip says life is all up to your effort. Agency has its rightful place, but a beautiful truth is missing. Saving comes down to surrender (not striving).
TRUTH: God’s got it.
You alone can’t get it together. Someone 𝘩𝘢𝘴 come on your behalf. He's a person, God with flesh on. His name is Jesus, the Savior of the world. He can handle the weight of yours. It's your choice whether to accept the rescue.
LIE: You are enough.
This anthem flashes across social and even coffee mugs, but we are people with boundaries. Our physical bodies, time, capacity, energy. They limit us. And that’s a good thing. It’s OK to come to the end of yourself.
TRUTH: You’re more than enough in Christ.
God designed us to be in a relationship with Him. He hems us in, behind and before. He’s enough to carry the weight of who we are and set us free.
See: Psalm 73:26, Psalm 139:7-12
LIE: I’m an imposter.
Our thoughts quickly dig at our capability and credibility. Women neglect to pursue roles because of a fear of failure and low esteem of their capabilities (HBR) and “search firms confirm that women applying for jobs are often less assertive than men," per How Women Rise authors, Sally Helgesen & Marshall Goldsmith.
TRUTH: I’m qualified by Him who equips me.
Women aren’t the only ones who feel inadequate to the bone. Moses in the Bible answered God’s charge at the burning bush with “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?”
God rebuts Moses’ inadequacies and qualifies him for the task because of His presence with him, not Moses’ innate abilities. When we aren’t enough, He is.
See: Exodus 4:11-12
LIE: You have to be perfect to be a good leader
Women are caught in a trap of mastery. Endlessly trying to craft perfection is exhausting. Welcome to the imperfect club - We all have a membership!
TRUTH: Weak is strong.
Peel the layers of unrealistic expectations off yourself. The only perfection that walked this earth is Jesus Christ. When we turned on Him, He turned toward us. He’s the perfect sacrifice, paying the ultimate price of death on a cross to bring us back to Himself. When don’t have it, He does.
LIE: If I was more like her…
The yardstick of comparison is a dangerous one. It’s tough not to put yourself into her career/life equation. “If I just had […], then […].” It’s the oldest discontentment trick in the book.
TRUTH: I was made on purpose and for a purpose.
You were made with (and on) purpose. After God threw up the stars and galaxies, the waters and the animals, he made man in His image. You bear His markings. Knit together, intricately woven. You are fearfully and wonderfully made because you were His great idea!
See: Psalm 119:105, Psalm 139
We're living out the icebreaker game “two truths and a lie” so know and speak the truth to yourself. It’s time to dance to a new beat that frees.
A forever girls’ girl, Meg Applegate, traded her childhood BFF necklaces for Greek letters in college. She's worked full-time, part-time and stayed at home with kids, understanding the challenge and reward of holding a career and family in tandem (and in the tension). While her professional journey has been anything but straight, now as an award-winning resume writer and brand strategist she connects high-achieving women to career advancement under her shingle, Hinge Resume.
Twice named one of Jobscan's Top Experts to Follow on LinkedIn and a 2021 winner of the industry’s most prestigious Toast of the Resume Industry awards, her work is also featured in ForbesWomen, Fairygodboss and the most recent edition of Expert Resumes & LinkedIn Profiles for Managers and Executives.
An enthusiast of antiques and old homes, she is driven by her faith, family, dark chocolate, and her morning cup of coffee.